Running With Bolt Cutters

ironingbored:

Do you ever want to bake something that isn’t cookies? Are you throwing a tea party and don’t know what do serve? Do you think scones are delicious?

If you answered yes to any of these questions, I have a recipe for you. This is a simple, easy scone that you can make as homely and plain or decadent as you like. It’s basically the blank canvas of baked goods.

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WHAT YOU NEED

2 3/4 cups FLOUR
1/3 cup SUGAR
1 tablespoon BAKING POWDER
3/4 teaspoon SALT
1-2 cups MIX-INS*
1/2 cup BUTTER, cold
1/2 cup HALF & HALF
2 large EGGS 
2 teaspoons FLAVORING*
* these things are optional

WHAT TO DO

If you’ve ever made biscuits, the process is very similar. After mixing the dry ingredients, you need to incorporate the butter. It’s important that your butter is cold so your dough has a sort of sandy texture after you mix it in the dry ingredients. Using a pastry blender will make your life a lot easier, but if you dont have one, you can use a fork or ¡GASP! your hands. It’s okay if there are still some larger chunks of butter in the dough.
Now is the time to add any fruits, nuts, cheese, or other delicious mix-in that you’ve chosen to include in your scones. After you have a nice, fairly dry and crumbly mess in your bowl, it is time to moisten things up a bit. In a separate, smaller bowl, mix together the eggs, half and half, and any flavorings you have selected. Then, mixing as you go, add the liquid little by little. It might seem at first like such a tiny amount of liquid won’t be enough, but it probably will be (If you live in Death Valley or on an arctic tundra, you might need a splash more half and half). You may find that towards the end, it becomes easier to mix with your hands. This will ensure that no floury mixture is left in the bottom of your bowl.
It is really up to you what shape you want your scones to be, though I’d suggest you keep them all near the same size. For a classic scone shape, separate the dough into two equal parts and make rounds that are about 3/4” thick. Then, cut the rounds into 4-6 pieces. It will be easier to cut if your knife is wet or floured. Space the pieces so that there is about a 1/2” buffer zone between each (the scones will puff up a bit but not too much).
You may be wondering what temperature the oven should be set to. Well, I will tell you now. Pre-heat your oven to 425°F. While you wait for the oven, put your scones in the refrigerator and CLEAN UP. This is important. If you don’t clean up, the kitchen gnomes will become angered and poop all over your kitchen while you sleep, or the kitchen elves will begin eating your food as punishment. You might attribute these supernatural occurrences to small rodents and ants. You are probably wrong. Anyway, I think the oven should be hot now.
If you desire, brush your raw scones with milk and sprinkle a topping on them before baking. The milk will help it stick and give them a little shine. I just use a paint brush that I haven’t used for painting, but I know that you can buy a special food brush in fancy kitchen stores. Anyway, bake the scones for 20-25 minutes (unless you have done something crazy, you free spirits out there who wanted to make one huge scone). When they are beginning to turn golden brown, they should be done. 

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The scone in the picture up there was made with 1 teaspoon of almond flavor and 1 teaspoon of vanilla extract, with brown sugar sprinkled on top. I wanted something simple with a very light flavor to serve with strawberries and whipped cream or vanilla ice cream at a get-together tomorrow. I would like to make some bacon cheddar chive scones soon, though, and probably lemon scones with a tart lemon glaze, too.

Happy cooking, happy cleaning up after yourself, and happy eating!

Z

This person is cool. You should follow. Yes.

Made these things today. They’re comfy.

neil-gaiman:

From the photo, I couldn’t tell which of them was meant to be which, though. Probably someone should make Good Omens twice, so they could each play each role. That would work.

petrichorandsmoke:

A lot of people have been throwing around posters for their dream casting of Good Omens, and there’s a few (Hiddles/Cumby!) that I really like, but when my flatmate and I were reading GO, we mentally both cast David Tennant and Jude Law as Crowley and Aziraphale, respectively. With that in mind, here is my submission for dream casting.

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